Letter 50

June 24, 2011


Dear Mom,


Well, it finally happened: The "shakedown" we all secretly dreaded. It wasn't anything way over the top of what I expected, at least. All that was taken from us was a couple of sheets and an extra blanket I used when I wanted to be lazy on the too-short weekends. I'll get them back, it is only a matter of how long I'll be dragged along in doing so. Doing time here is harder now than it used to be, and I'm sure it will get worse as long as measures go unchallenged as they are now. The day of my release from close management isn't approaching nearly fast enough. I just feel rotten about how hopeless my celly's situation looks. Unless he has cards he isn't showing, he will be here at least through September.

I don't have much worth writing you about but I have a day or two to do it and I can't restrain myself from the habit. J is putting all his carefully organized and cleaned property back in some semblance of organization. He is not too thrilled with the way the search took place. I don't take pride, although maybe I ought to, in maintaining an organization of my things. The way I see it, any officer at any time can say anything I've got is contraband and take it and move me to a stripped cell. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't discount the likelihood of it happening at all. The safest place to be if a loaded gun is around is out of its range!

Hey, what do you know, only an hour after they finished searching they cut off the bright lights and turned the water back on. They keep up this kind of thing, I may want to stay here. NOT!! It's hard for me not to emphasize the points I think need to be stressed, and still keep the tone of the letter uninterrupted.

Now, it is Saturday morning with an entirely new set of the same old. The money sent to J's account apparently wasn't there in time for his standing order to be processed, so I once again will split my order between us. I don't really mind, as he guides me in so many of the rough patches I run into here; yet the week is made far too long by two of us eating the ten items I'm permitted. We were also recently seen by the library guys that come through today. I know it must be a monumental task keeping everyone straight, but these guys are truly challenged, and I still haven't gotten books yet from Amazon.

The chemical hammer I take daily is smashing my brain flat again, so please overlook any parts of these letters which may not be appropriate for a son to put down to his mom.

Otherwise, it is pretty much continuing on the same here. Jesus is interested in seeing a picture of himself now, as his I.D. pictures were all taken quite some time ago. If you can do it, he would like a 2" x 3" color photo reprinted from the D.O.C. website. I'd ask Renelle but hesitate as she is dealing with a lot and I don't know if she has a printer. There is an increased need for circumspection regarding certain literacy efforts, else I'd flood the mailbox with them. I finally donated most of the books from Amazon that we have been holding onto. Parting with Twist was like parting with my right-hand. Maybe the week coming will bring forth the overdue books...hard to know.

Anyhow, a flood of insignifica requires my attention, and I think I need a break from the moron-a-thon I'm caught up in.

Much Love,
James