Letter 37

May 17, 2011


Dear Mom,


Hopefully you aren't so busy as to allow your body to outrace your mind, as often happens with me. Oddly, I received only the photo of Aunt Chee Chee as a child next to a groundhog in the last letter from you; I wonder if something was removed from the envelope or what? On the photo page, you mention a report. Does it ring any bells? The mail we actually receive here is getting spottier, with the guards delivering it to the wrong places constantly. It almost discourages us from using the mail...almost.


About attempts to stay on top of things so I don't get surprises, it is becoming increasingly tough to manage. I'm back to nearly being paralyzed into inaction by the overwhelming number of things clamoring for me to do something, all during an entire shift! I'm not good at that now and doubt I ever was. I don't know how or if being overwhelmed can be avoided, or if it is going to continue or get worse as time goes by. I flatly refuse to pay $7.00 (the new price) for a mental health sick-call just to be told what I already know. That would be proof positive I need help!


The new Col. has introduced quite a bit more tension into a place that was already far too tense. In my opinion, the policy changes being slowly but surely inroduced are more self-serving than anything else. In future letters, I'll most likely be sleep-deprived, as we are going to be required to stand for every count they do...soon! God, I'll be so happy when I don't have to deal with this crap I don't need/want.


Jesus says "hi," and wants me to ask if you would send some true crime F.B.I. books the next time. I'm almost done with Blink, and can't understand why no one's thought of most of this stuff before now. I'm deeply impressed by his quoting the doctor on discussion of the (damaged in my case) ventro-medial part of the brain, and what its effects are. I recall one experience that points to a damaged part of my brain most clearly.


I was working as a cover man for someone at a semi-sensitive area. While being walked through the routine first by another officer prior to his leaving, a soccer ball was discovered. We were in a parking garage waiting for his ride, where I was having a cigarette and asking questions I didn't get a chance to ask earlier when he was showing me around. The ball came up again in the conversation. In my mind, a soccer ball was incomplete and needed a soccer player with it. As I was explaining this to the guy, he kicked the ball towards me saying, "I'm off the clock now, think fast!" We were playing around and I told him that I bet I could catch it 3 out of 5 times without trapping it or using my hands. So, he threw it at my head. I tracked it into my face and for an hour afterwards I had the word VOIT printed on my face. Never did catch it, though.


Lunch will be here shortly, but I want to thank you for the money you send. I hope that, if something else was in the envelope, it wasn't irreplaceable.


Much love,
James


p.s. Mom, if you could...because I can't seem to get them here because my vision isn't bad enough...would you pick up an inexpensive pair of reading glasses for me? I'd really appreciate it, on the low. Thanks, and bring them during the next visit. Please.