Letter 28

May 2, 2011

Dear Renelle,

How are you faring these days? Well as can be expected, I hope. I've included a sort of half-hearted attempt at a kind of descriptive treatment, in a way; in a vacuous sort of way greatly in need of the discipline and steel so common here. At the moment, I'm growing--physically. I got weighed at 148 lbs. An ideal weight for me, were not a fair amount of it on the useless fat side! Oh well, can't have it all--I'd likely figure a way to crash it if I did anyway.

I'm 1/4 way done with the book written by a guy who was in "Angola" (in Louisianna) named Wilbert Rideau; and to me, it's a record of the day to day events in the prison system. So far, the "series of stunning revelations" is fairly tepid stuff. I suppose, though, that if the limits on Rideau's writing skills and his ability to write (two separate factors, as I can attest to) are considered, the book takes on larger proportions. At any rate, it's a good read. I'm pausing here to eat. With that safely done, I'll again(!) likely need to pause, as this is (shockingly) shower night.

I find Rideau's style not as I'd imagined it to be--a very long, plodding and dry narrative as exciting as a laundry list to read. Instead, it's offered a glimpse at the issues the nation was involved with at the times, and those it has yet to resolve fully even today. If you haven't read it, I would if I were you. It presents a picture of the "life" we have in prison realistically, not as someone that never had any experience with confinement would have you believe.

About unbelief, how is the weather lately? Glad I don't go outdoors. I'll stay in where it's dry, thank you. Nearly 350 people died as a direct result of the weather last month! Ordinarily, I'd expect death to snatch a few people a month during storm season, but numbers like the ones reported are hitting close and hard!

I'm actually worried about being effectively cut off from humanity, the way we smurfs would be if a power failure/surge renders the doors inoperative. Regarding "cut off," after I'd written that very word, we (Jesus and I) were hustled out to the shower and back. There's a great deal of "leeway" for that activity, by the way. 

"Supercop" is doing showers today, and so far he's let 1/2 dozen cells out to the shower and written 8 people up for different items in their cells! I don't condone having stuff like that (tobacco, phone, lighter) in the cells, but I don't feel it's right to be penalized for getting what amounts for some, a much-needed shower (as I'm told), either. I'm glad this isn't a deeper-rooted issue. I may have to "air my feelings" about it if it were.

Though it's possible, I don't believe the good/bad that may come out of each instance of contraband could be weighed individually; but I fail to grasp that it promotes any change, the way they're all grouped together the way they are. This is only my likely-insignificant opinion, but I feel the larger issue is one of enforcement: it's like a best friend writing you a ticket, as they're also a cop. What are your thoughts? 

I don't mean to confuse you with my writing like I probably do, it's only that I've got so much to write that it wouldn't be prudent to in this forum, that I get to crunching words like they'd be as a result of a high-speed collision!

In any event, I put aside one day every week that I do nothing (or as close to it as possible here); no one is to bother me for anything. I rest confident of my forthcoming victory in much the same way as O.J. Simpson's legal defense team was. (The glove?) With that written, I collapse into a coma-like state prior to eating. I need to rest my brain after making a series of decisions.

Your prejudicially adjudicated friend,

James

The way I'm "doing time," likely is with a tremendous amount of needless--uhm, excitability; that fits for me. On the other side, there are times when you could detonate a bomb in my bed and only barely get a reaction. Though I'm at a loss as to explain the two polar-opposite random (seemingly) reactions, as they are, after all, apparently random.

There are no precursory behaviors significant enough to merit a further look at my over and under reactions. Not being a learned person (I'm just me), I don't have any letters after my name--so this fact of my existence stands as a singular inexplicability. This is unacceptably perplexing, yet with no more data than is possible to be gathered observationally, I'm left to deduce simply that I'm coming unglued.