October 04, 2011
Dear Mom,
Before I ask about how you are, I'll state that this is about the 10th time I've written you without mailing it/them. The reason I encounter so much adversity is plain: I don't have any stamps/envelopes and don't know anyone that does. Thus far I haven't been able to buy any out of the canteen as I have always had an appointment when our dorm has access to the canteen. So, I've got plenty to be upset about in that area.
Now, how are you? Good, hopefully. I've got more to state about that, and a favor to ask you too, but that will be a bit further into the letter. As far as how I'm doing, I likely could be compared to a marble out from a sling shot, bouncing off objects with seemingly no decrease in speed. This, due to the frequency of my call-outs to medical or mental health and counseling therapists.
To date, the call-outs have had the effect of increasing my stress level dramatically. If I'm late to one, I'll get a D/R (disciplinary report) and go straight back to C.M. (close management) at either Santa Rosa or F.S.P., both of which aren't the Floridian paradises of their brochures, let me assure you. It is pretty well guaranteed that none that stay here get into trouble of any kind as it is a fairly sure thing to be shipped off to a D.O.C. camp for getting even a single D/R as I understand it.
Possibly I've overstated the hazards here, but not by much or intentionally. So, let me put you up to speed on what I'm involved with. I'm in a program on weekday mornings called a "Therapeutic Community." Our group, I'm told, is the first to get any hard copy information books, which is both good and bad for us smurfs. Good, as we are freer to work at our own pace, and bad as it can never be fast enough.
As I stated, the call-outs have had a crippling affect on me and my week in the T.C. program simply because this past week I was supposed to be present at five classes. Because of being called away, I only attended two. I missed a lot of important information, as well as being able to express what I feel I need and want out of it.
Excuse my distractedness please, knowing that it is born out of my need to eat opposed to my disinterest in continuing this letter. I have to move quick at times now to have a better chance at getting a tray of decent food. Which, by the way, is 100% better here than in the other prisons I've been to. The portioning is still hit and miss, though. I'm exempt from working in or with the food because I'm still a "close custody" inmate, but expect that will change when the officer/staff here realizes I'm not a threat or anything like that. All considered, I'm in a much healthier environment, after all the initial breaking in is over.
The part of the camp that I like the most is, especially considering it is a South Florida location, that there is no mandatory recreation yard! I was interrupted again...but this time for a very much needed reason: A call for the canteen. Now, among the many items I have secreted through people here, I've gotten to know a bit of their backgrounds. I don't have to eat what comes in on the trays to get full or reasonably close to it. Thank you for the money in my account, most definitely! Shoot, if it keeps on like this the rest of my sentence will fly by before I know it.
Now, for the part I referred to earlier on. The favor I'd like to ask of you is to be a spy for me...sort of. I'd like to find out as nearly as I'm able to how Renelle really is. I'm not comfortable asking her directly because she could be a lot more ill than she lets me know. I'm a grown adult now and have suffered my share, at least, so I can handle whatever news occurs. Please don't let her know of my concern. It is only that the world will be a more unfeeling place by far without her presence in it that leads me to inquire about her health.
I've got another favor to ask, one that you indicated on prior occasions that you would be willing to do. I'm including a letter to my former celly, Jesus, and hope you will be able to locate the camp he is at and forward it to him. Okay, I'm about out of room to write here so I'll let you get back to your life. Thank you very much.
Much love, and regards,
James
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