Letter 83

September 25, 2011

Dear Mom,

It has been a truly Herculean effort to get stamps/envelopes without any money here yet. Otherwise, all is well indeed. How are you getting along? This no-stamps deal is about one of the few things that could cause me scarring, mentally and over time. Someone was gracious enough to lend me a small amount food-wise or I would really be up against a wall.

Anyhow, I find that if I dwell on past mistakes and errors it only makes it easier to stay as I am with no mental improvement. This is where the real struggle takes place. I've gone over the figures again and again only to be re confronted with the ugly fact of need. My celly is a decent sort of guy, so I was able to copy down prices for the bare essentials and came up with the following: For $50-$100, I can be "indoors comfortable." For an additional $60, I can get new sneakers and new gym shorts. 

Although there is much posturing and empty bravado going on here, none are willing to make anyone angry enough to get them put on the bus out of here as we are all D.O.C. refuges and know this to be a good camp. And, although the prices are a bit higher on some foods, overall they average out to the same...with added variety, no less. This change up keeps the same foods from getting tired and stale. Very similar to a baseball pitcher who has a good change up and can then keep his numbers in better standing/average.

I've still been writing plenty of letters but I have no way to mail them. I will tell you the best way to see that I have at least a way to send and receive mail: Either a cashiers check/money order complete with my name and DC number sent here, or there is a service provided by Access Secure Deposits at inmatedeposits.com on the net.

I would enjoy keeping you up on all the latest except for two stark facts: All the latest may include lies or half truths, and my schedule is compressed so much that it is approaching critical mass! What with getting settled and not revealing any fractures/lies, i.e., my hotly burning rage at the system for the injustices that put me here, I can ill afford to let my guard down at all.

Otherwise, it is a pretty ho-hum routine here. Write me when you can. I need to establish the fact that I'm here in actuality.

Much love and regards
James