Letter 45

June 21, 2011

Dear Mom,

How are you these days? Hopefully well. Jesus and I continue to eke out an existence here, although admittedly this is much easier for me than for him. Not having contact with the outside world would tend to make me dramatically insane! The craz-ometer is registering new highs now, with the new colonel whipping things into shape around here. I'm afraid to write anything that could be viewed as negative for fear of the response/action I'll get. Two or three guys were a hair slow in complying during a dorm inspection this morning and are now in completely stripped cells...alone. No property, toiletries, or even a mat to lay on. Far be it for me to complain, though.

The crux of the difficulty lies in the fact that, with only a few exceptions, all of the guys in this prison who are on some level of C.M. are only here for a finite time. When they come off C.M. they are transferred. So, it would only be logical to make that kind of a stand after they get to where their permanent camps are. Plus, no one is willing to present a united front for anything the way it is now. Everyone is out for themselves, only and all. I overheard a description...a bit graphic---of the way it is here now: No one would ever try to urinate on anyone else who caught fire and urine was the only thing that would put out the flames. Not word perfect, but the point is clear, hopefully.

I will be going to the shower soon, light wanes and I must write quickly or be left in the dark. The classification officer has likely just now gotten my inscrutable request form and I may have to send another one to get the visitation forms I asked for. It's a mystery how anyone can stay sane after 29 years (and counting) in prison without any visitors, but maybe it's easier if there is no choice.

I was handed a receipt for more money in my account and, while I appreciate very much what you are doing for me, maybe I was unclear in my earlier letters to you. The money won't let me get any more items from the canteen than I am allowed anyway. Instead of both of us only getting ten items, it would be so much better and easier if we were each allowed to buy ten items from the canteen for a week or two. Increasing only my account does little to soothe the already discouraged feelings of my celly. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but it is a bit of a pill to take when I'm the only one getting anything. Otherwise, all is about as well as possible with me. It's eerie the way you pick up on certain things about me, though. If I didn't know a mother's love was behind it, it would really creep me out...badly!

The lights are due to go off soon and I've said about all I needed to say. December 2012 is closer by the day/hour/minute. Well, I need to get this in the mail room.

Much Love,
James

p.s. If you could, Mom, please...as I have no way of doing it or I would...please put something in the account of Jesus DelPino, DC #394204. Thanks very much!