Letter 40

June 3, 2011

Dear Mom,

Well, the results are in and as expected I aced the entire five pre-tests; except for one part, that is. The person administering the tests said I told him I wasn't comfortable taking one part, but that is a lie. What I've pieced together is that the administrator gave out multiple test forms, scratch paper and the like without proper explanation as to what went with which form. Asking questions only confused the situation more and I ended up doing the allegedly missing part of the test on the wrong form. I deny the allegations of intentional wrong-doing and vehemently resent the implied assault on my character as well.

If I want to go ahead with the process of getting the actual G.E.D. testing out of my way, I need to wait for another cycle to come through and then take all five tests again. I feel angry at the administrator because I feel that he lied. I know giving tests the way they do is not easy but to lie outright is crossing over the line. Therefore, and there are more practical reasons also, I quit. I don't feel the need to put such tremendous stress on myself in addition to the stress I feel anticipating the major sh*t storm nearing my "house" in November.

Not that I'm letting this go unnoticed, I'm reserving my response for a more opportune time. I've pretty well accepted the fact that I can only make an intolerable situation much worse, and my time here is nearly up. Also, conditions here aren't so bad so I think I'll wait before I start making a nuisance of myself again.

Lunch is due and I can only imagine the horror it will bring. The science experiment gone awry is nearly upon us, so I need to keep this out of reach for the next half hour or so. It is now after lunch and I managed to keep this paper from being eaten, though it may have been the most tasteful thing around. The smurfs in similar positions are regularly denied such basic things as salt. It's been a week since I've seen any. Honestly, the ones responsible are comparable to common mouth-breathing bottom-feeders.

My day didn't exactly start in an ideal way, with the teacher telling me about the state certified liar and all. I feel like no matter what I think, say, or do nothing gets any easier or any better. Lunch typified what I refer to: It took so long to get it all moving, because we had to wait until we were counted, that we rushed through a guaranteed case of indigestion just as others got to watch the worse show on T.V....Jerry Springer. Forgive my expressing myself so negatively but I wonder if anything is going to go right for me today.

On top of everything else, I'm dealing with a malfunctioning pen...soon to be trashed. I feel crowded, and if it keeps up this way I'm not sure I can keep my cool. I won't be able to spare anyone, such will be my state. No amount of advocating any of my various causes seems to help me either. All of which leaves me to conclude that while prison/incarceration may do a bit of good, it is far outweighed by the freedoms given up in trade.

I don't find this stuff amusing anymore...I need a break. This kid is not alright by a long stretch of hard road. It is interesting, as always, the difference a day and a letter from Renelle make in my attitude. She told me you are rescheduling the visit for the 2nd week in June. I'm really looking forward to it. Well, I'm out of (alleged) wise sayings. Guess I ought to stop writing and close now. Regards to all,

Much Love,
James

Check the D.O.C. website for my account balance please; I'm zeroed out again. Thank you.